November 2014 FEW Meeting Recap: Tips for Overcoming Conflict

Recap: “Tips for Overcoming Conflict”

FEW Meeting November 13, 2014

Speaker: Tania Coke

Tania Coke, conflict meditator, corporeal mime artist, and FEW November speaker, sees conflict as a chance to keep asking yourself, “Who am I?”

By Christina Hanazawa-Gallagher, FEW Programs Director

On Thursday, November 13, FEW welcomed conflict mediator and corporeal mime artist, Tania Coke, as guest speaker to the November monthly meeting, where she guided the audience through a series of exercises to help people to distinguish the feeling of “powerlessness” and “control over their own situations” to understand what conflict does to the body. One exercise involved simply shrinking your back, shoulders, and neck at different levels, then rising again. When we avoid conflict, it is like “a turtle closing off itself and running away,” she said.

IMG_2631-150x150Tania added, “Transformative meditation can help people empower themselves in a conflict and “rediscover themselves.”

“All truths want to be learned. You have a better chance of keeping them if they are learned in the body.”

One of the first steps you can take when in a conflict situation whether internal or external one, is to recognize the conflict cycle:

1) Trigger event, 2) Uncertainty or doubt, 3) Present a pretty picture or place a label on it or yourself to the world, 4) Constantly shrinking and limiting self to identify with label, 5) Repeat

Tania said recognizing the pattern, is “an opportunity to see the nature of the cycle and access a deeper part of yourself.”

She also encouraged people to speak out loud about their conflicts because it can bring a new perspective to the situation. This is where the meditator can come in handy.
In another exercise, in pairs, one person explained their problem, while the other actively listened without judging or trying to fix it. After five minutes, the listener repeated the story back to the speaker using what they perceived was the speaker’s voice and feelings. Tania said that if we “can find a way to open up to new perspectives, we can open up to possibilities.”

With this simple exercise, she said this has helped people understand the conflict from another’s point of view. So, it is less about seeing the other person as the bad guy and recognizing that our point of view may not necessarily be the correct one.

Speaker Profile
Tania-Coke-ConsensioTania Coke trained as a mediator in the UK and is accredited by the Centre for Effective Dispute Resolution (CEDR) and Mediation UK. She has mediated in a wide range of workplace, commercial and community disputes, working both independently and through organisations such as CEDR, Camden Mediation Service, Total Conflict Management and Consensio Partners. She has designed and led mediation workshops for diverse groups including HR and management professionals, lawyers, doctors and community workers, both in the UK and (since moving to Tokyo three years ago) in Japan. She writes regular articles on mediation and conflict management for HR magazines such as Training Journal, HR Zone and HR Director.

Beyond mediation, she is involved in various activities all connected by the theme of “communication with the whole being”. She is the co-director of tarinainanika (, a theatre unit specialising in a form of stylised physical theatre called Corporeal Mime. She is also a corporate trainer helping business people to improve their presentation skills, logical thinking and general communication skills.

She began her career as a management consultant in London and Paris, and has a diploma from the International School of Corporeal Mime and a degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics from Oxford University (Christ Church)

For more information about transformative mediation, to participate in a workshop, or catch one of Tania’s performances, you can reach out to her at the contact details below:


May 2018 Strategic Partner Member Offers and Other News

Check out the latest member offers and opportunities from our Strategic Partners here! Our Strategic Partners are committed to bringing the best services and products to FEW members. And go to our Strategic Partners page to learn more about all of FEW’s Strategic Partners, who not only support FEW’s activities but also provide professional and personal services […]

Published on 2nd May 2018

Special Event Recap: Japanese Business Etiquette Workshop with WaNavi Japan

FEW’s latest Strategic Partner WaNavi Japan hosted a workshop on Japanese Business Etiquette in the evening of April 4 at the Wesley Center in Omotesando, providing insights in Japanese culture and business culture in particular, as well as practical phrases commonly used at the workplace making communication with Japanese co-workers smoothly. Motoko Kimura, Founder and […]

Published on 2nd May 2018

April 2018 Monthly Meeting Recap: Female Pioneers in Law in Japan

At FEW’s monthly meeting in April, we heard from two dynamic women working in law in Tokyo: Naoko Matsuzaki, Director, International Anti-Corruption and Global Intelligence for PwC Japan’s Forensic Services Group, and Catherine O’Connell, Founder and Principal of Catherine O’Connell Law and the first foreign female to set up as a sole legal practitioner in […]

Published on 2nd May 2018

March 2018 Women’s Start-up Club Recap: Online Presence Part II- Social Media

On March 22, The FEW Women’s Start-up Club held its fourth meeting of the FEW year on the topic of “Online Presence Part 2 – Social Media,” in a hands on social media workshop style event. And hands-on it was indeed – and not only related to social media! Those who attended may remember the police invasion! […]

Published on 2nd May 2018

Strategic Partner Spotlight: Lumina Learning Japan Partner, Elizabeth Handover

Lumina Learning is a global learning and development company representing the latest innovation in professional development and assessment. As a pioneer in organizational development with over 3,500 certified trainers globally, we offer services in 30 languages. Lumina Spark is our flagship psychometric tool. The key to every organization’s success is its people. This philosophy underpins our partnerships […]

Published on 2nd May 2018

Upcoming Events