Special Event Recap – Radical Boundaries Workshop with Sarah Furuya
FEW’s June Special Event Workshop, took place on June 21st, 2018 at H&R Roppongi and was run by Sarah Furuya, FEW Strategic Partner, long-time member and former president who works as a life & executive coach, facilitator and mentor, supporting particularly women in achieving their goals and realizing their dreams. Her workshop “Radical Boundaries: How to Say No to Make Way for Yes”, aimed to help getting more time and energy to do those things we are devoted to by saying “NO” to those things that just consume energy and time, but don’t add any value to our lives and goals.
Sarah started off with setting an overall framework for the workshop and getting to know all participants and their reasons for joining this session. She explained that all our actions need “fuel and oxygen”, but that our time and energy are limited, hence we need to be careful on how to use them and be more selective and choose to do things we are really devoted to, i.e. saying “Yes” to those things and reducing those we are not devoted to, but feel obliged to do, by saying “No”. However, saying “No” is usually not an easy thing to do and we are often afraid to say “No” for various reasons, e.g. our upbringing, religion, society or the environment we are in. As a next step, all participants were asked to form small group where they could come up and discuss situations where they usually have boundary issues and difficulties saying “no”.
Following the team work, Sarah introduced a few concepts that identify and show typical situations and also provided suggestions and solutions in how handle them in a better way and how become more comfortable and less frightened to say “No”. In a final group work everyone got to practise saying “No” by asking questions on situations where the team members have issues setting boundaries and make them say confidently “No”. She highlighted, that it takes some practice to get more comfortable and confident to saying “No”. One doesn’t have to say strongly “No”, as there are ways to clearly set boundaries without saying explicitly “No”; that fit the individual situations we are in, e.g. when being asked to do something for someone else we can simply say: “Sorry, I am busy right now”.
In a final round, all participants spoke about their key takeaways, what had been most useful for them in this workshop and how they will go forward. Sarah closed the workshop with two statements that gave everyone some food for thought on the way home and which can be used as a reminder when facing a situation with boundary issues
- Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
- We are sovereign adults responsible for our actions.
Thanks to all participants for joining and sharing their experiences and also thank you to Sarah Furuya for saying yes to run this workshop and devoting her time and energy to FEW.